London Pissing Guide - TOSMAG

We’ve all been there, the tube pulls into Tottenham Court Road and you’re busting for a wizz. It’s still at best, a four minute walk to the exits. Then it’s decision time; where to go, is it that desperate that you resort to the McDonalds bog or can you hold your bladder long enough to make it to the tranquillity of the Oxford Street department store WCs.

Well you no longer need to worry as we’ve drunk our weight in Capri Sun and come up with London’s ultimate toilet guide.

Liberty’s – Nearest Tube, Oxford Circus…for the boys

Once you’ve navigated your way past the world's most expensive t-shirt and jackets that could make Stone Cold Steve Austin look camp, you’ll find yourself in among the Art. Walk through glancing as you pass as if you might just might purchase a water colour. Don't, because they're all rubbish. Instead sneak left into the none-too-shabby toilets.

Ray’s Jazz Café at Foyles – Charing Cross Road

Bookshops are a great place to take a leek, mainly because nobody tells you toilets are for customers only. Ray’s has a male and a female lav and is situated on the second floor of Foyles bookshop. Treat yourself to a toasted rye bread sandwich after, they are really great.

Borders – Charing Cross Road / Oxford Street

The great thing about Borders is the array of ephemera that you can take into the toilets with you. Handy mag rails, with hundreds of items are in store, peruse at your leisure and take one to the bathroom with you. But be sure to return anything you borrow – we don’t want to promote thieves now do we.

Selfridges – Oxford Street

Selfridges toilets are clean. There is plenty of space inside and there’s always a guy checking everything is ok. No e-coli, no bird flu just a simple toilet. However, that said – any department store will do, although I might add that House of Fraser is very hot and is an unpleasant experience.

Pret a Manger – Long Acre, Covent Garden/Leicester Square

Hidden away downstairs in big Pret is a small metallic lavvy. It’s not particularly nice but it does the job. I liked the futuristic feel it had. Corrugated metal doors and horrifically designed entry. But it’s times like these that design features are the least of your worries.

That Shopping Centre in Neal’s Yard (you know the one) - Covent Garden

Despite being a dumping ground for some distinctly rubbish clothes shops, it boasts a coffee stand and comfy seats and a decent atmosphere. Better yet, there are some piss-soaked free bogs to use. They're one up from going up against a wall at the very least.

Have you drunk too much Ribena on the tube recently? Had to make a dash for a pit stop? Where did you go and what did you think. Share you bog experiences with us at www.theothersidemag.co.uk

Comments

written on 07-Apr-2008

jamesmawilliams says:

Its down market... but comeon! Everyones gotta use MC Donalds?
written on 25-Apr-2008

HarryWood says:

As a student my commute involved changing at Leicester Square, and I'd often be busting for a waz at that point, after a evening's boozing. So the Burger King on Leicester Square became a favourite. I guess free-wee-ers became a problem for them, because for a while they employed big bouncers who stopped anyone going to the toilet unless they'd bought food. Then later they installed a big metal gate charging 20p.
written on 25-Apr-2008

theotherside says:

Found a good one the other day - The Pub in waterloo station has a key code on the door. I know the code. It's like a personal haven.
written on 25-Apr-2008

mrdanmurdoch says:

What are you're not going to share it?
written on 25-Apr-2008

mrdanmurdoch says:

that's the sort of grammar i want to see more of
written on 25-Apr-2008

theotherside says:

3020
written on 25-Apr-2008

theotherside says:

or is it?

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