Here's The Other Side’s Off Side’s latest attempt at name-based humour (with tragic consequences). It’s important for any footballer to secure himself a decent job once they retire from the game – after all, there’s only so many punditry slots available and Robbie Fowler bought all the houses. Fully expecting our P45s as a result of this, here’s our alternative jobs/occupations XI...
GK - Pepe Dog TReina
RB - Moritz Dancer Volz
LB - Matthew Tailor
CB - Ricardo Car-Valet-O
CB - Anthony Gardener
RM - Gavin McCannic
LM - Stelios Giannokop-lost property officer
CM - Nigel Courier-Coker
CM - Michael Hairdressien
CF - Gabriel Agbonla-whore
CF - Emile HeSki-instructor
On the bench:
Jussi Jaaske-Linesman, Amdy Fayerman, Cesc Fabregasman, Andriy Chefchenko, Ivan Campodium Dancer, Shola AmeoBeekeeper and Tal Binman Haim
Chairman - Freddy Shepherd
Manager - Paul Jeweller
Assistant Manager - "Bobby" Robson
GK Coach - Gordon Banks Manager
Home matches played in front of The Cop, with punditry from Alan Sheep Shearer.
Thanks to PKid and Gav for this XI .Think you can do better than this (well, it’s not hard) and got an XI of your own? Then stick it on the forum. The best entry will be published in the magazine and the winner will receive free tickets to an Underhill Engineering Plymouth and West Devon Combination Intermediate Division match of their choice.
The Other Side's Offside - a regular visitor to Tom Henning Ovrebo’s couch
With the Premier League season almost done and dusted, there’s just time for us to give you our top 10 moments from the year so far. What fun! Check out Robinho, Pardew, Fuller, Macheda and all sorts of nonsense down the bottom of the page.
We've also got an exclusive for you - a sneak peak into the diary of Joseph Anthony Barton, aged 26½. He works for the Messiah, and he's a very naughty boy...
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I'm in, guardian and premier league. YES! I accept your challenge. I suggest we have some kind of Prize pot.
i have my guardian and the other one fantasy teams all set up, who dares challenge me?
It's the footy news! wow - now I no longer need to go and visit my chosen sports site - I can come straight here!