(On a bus, a rotund, blonde bobbed businesswoman bellows in her mobile phone, presumably to her PA or secretary...)

OK, you need to write "Dear Hannah Comma"... what? What do you mean you don't know where?... In the email.

No! Inside the email. The actual email. OK, you have the subject line... can you see the subject line? Well, it's after the subject line. Write it inside the email. The actual email. Inside.

Inside.

Inside.

Inside the email.

Have you ever actually seen an email?

OK, "Dear Hannah Comma", then press enter... enter... enter... the one with the big arrow. The button with the big arrow. Can you now see there should be a space between the lines. There should be a space.

(The condescending blonde fatty then relayed the rest of the email she wanted sending)

Now press send. Yes... Have you press send? Can you see a message saying sent?... Not on the actual email... Can you see a box that says sent? OK, that's good, now we know that she's received it... OK, I love you too honey.

 (And with that she hung up on what must have been her husband)